God has made us a Family

What has prosperity turned us into?
Self-absorbed snobs.
When did we go from family to neighbors to non-existent?
When in fact we are all still here.

Why are we not brothers and sisters?But bothers and gossips?

I watched a woman fall not long ago.
Carrying a baby in a basket and a toddler by her side.
I had my own little sister in the van.
I watched her tumble and start to scream.
I jumped out of the van and turned it off.
I made sure that Lilly’s door was open first so that she didn’t over heat.
Then I straightened the baby’s seat off of its side.
The baby was crying and so was the mom.
The little boy was such a big brother and great son.
He hugged his mom and said he’d make it better.
Then he talked to his sister to comfort her.
She wanted to know that the baby wasn’t hurt.
The baby wasn’t.
While I rocked the baby seat back and forth to sooth her,
Two more women stopped their cars and came out.
So did the principal of the Christian daycare we were outside.
The principal gave her a phone, a pillow, and an icepack and then proceeded to stand there overseeing.

The two women asked her if she had anybody to pick her up and that she needed to go to the ER.

No duh.


A spectacle of drama was all they were there for.
Like those pesky people that slow down by a car pulled over.
Her husband was in Sarasota.
She had no one.
She had no money and had shattered her other ankle three years ago.
She was with two kids under the age of 5.
No one even asked her name.
I told Lilly she could play with the little boy so she showed him her horses.
Then they had acorns throwing competitions.
The baby was rocked into a gentle hush.
And the mom was crying and afraid.


The two older women left.
Not lending a hand.
I can’t believe nobody offered to pray.
These older women of God.
I can’t believe they just left without helping.
I can’t believe how many of us would have done the same.
I called home to say I’d be late.
She called her mother in law and soon she was on her way.
I asked the principal if she’d lay hands with me and pray.
We prayed over the woman, whose name was Anna.
I gave her my number, just in case.
For no charge babysitting because I knew recovery can be insane.
I had nothing else to give her and I felt terrible.
But I had given all that I had.
Her mother and father in law showed up and put her in their truck.
Grandpa took the kids and grandma took the mom.
With tears in her eyes and a painful smile on her face she told me thank you.
I took her hand and she squeezed it tight.
She gave me a kiss and I got in my van with my own sister and left.


How would it feel to watch your older sisters leave you in pain?
God prepares us for things like this.
I knew how to help this woman because just two years ago I had broken my own ankle.
I knew how to sooth her baby and play with her son.
Because I have been babysitting since I was eight.

So I have two huge questions.

First, if you are going through a hard time God is preparing you for someone, or something else.
So how are you going to embrace your trials?
Second, are you going to leave your family to hurt by themselves any longer?
It doesn’t look like you do that does it?
But if you have not hugged someone you wouldn’t normally hug,
If you have not called someone this week that isn’t your closest friend,
If someone has been missing and you don’t know where they are,
If someone is telling you thier hard times or if someone is sick and you haven’t offered to pray for them,

You are neglecting your family.

God says that even the non-believers are his children.
They are lost.
How many people have you said that “Jesus loves you” this week?
That’s how many times you should be allowed to think about yourself.
I’m not going to forget my family anymore.
Because watching you hurt is too much for me.
I might only have today to tell you I love you.
And I do.
I love every single one of you.

Reoccuring Dreams

My dream had faded.
It became a brief flash of light somewhere during sleep.
My dream had faded.
A wall grew up from a tiny seed.

A seed that had been planted,
a doubt against my dream.
My life full of things and people,
Built up brick by brick,
The thing that casted shadows made me lie down, sick
As I lived in the dark and missed my beautiful sun
I looked down at my hands.
I realized, rehoped, redreamed, and replanned.
I tore down my wall and my faded dream shone.
Why fades a dream?
Because a man gives up hope.
Because he loses sight.
Because he lives in darkness.
Because he briefly forgets for what he fights.
But I remembered.

I am the Sunday School Answer

I am the Sunday school answer.
I tell them what they want to hear.
Smiles hide the flowing tears.
They left me alone and never called.
My beating heart has now been stalled.
I have a rock inside my chest.
I always gave them my constant best.
Now why should I?
I should have died.
When I was tortured and abused,
A tornado of chaos, so confused,
They never ever said a word.
And that was all I ever heard.
I was gone for six months.
How could you have not questioned?
Where WAS I?!
You never heard the stabbing cries.
Nobody did but me.
Now that it’s over I wish I could make you see.
I am back now.
And nobody thinks I’ve changed.
No one knows that my heart was exchanged.
For a brick, a rock, a solid stone.
That my warm smile is a glare of cold.
I am the Sunday school answer.
I never say a word.
That’s all they have heard.


They haven’t asked and haven’t hugged.
Their just as fake with that mannequin love.
I have never been so alone.
Even my best friend didn’t pick up the phone.
I wasn’t allowed to see the world.
I was locked up in a cell
With not a ear to tell
I watched them day and night.
I tried not to fight.
I was so scared that the souls would die.
And what could I do? Nothing, but why?
Because I’m a “teenager” and only one person!
But now that you know I’m hurtin’,
Will you be changed?
Knowing I am nothing I seem?
That I only pretend to act clean?
I am the Sunday school answer.


I’m nothing deep and nothing real.
For some reason in this world that gives you mass appeal.
I love the Bible and love my Lord.
And think that they’re important and not a bore.
But Sunday school is for little kids.
Those answers don’t teach you how to live!
We are the church, the body of Christ!!
But we live so fake, we don’t want to love life.
Months of pain and being alone.
All I have to show is this fake brick I hold.
I bet it’s made of plastic.
To you I’m goody-two shoes, naïve, and spastic.
I never achieved wisdom and I don’t know pain.
My days are full of roses and never any rain.
But roses have thorns.
My stitching has been torn.
Will you let the façade continue until the day I die?
Never really understanding and never really knowing why.
Well, to that I just have to say I have sowing to do, so good bye.

Ode to my Gramma

Every line on her face tells another story. Every gray hair holds a lesson.

Every wrinkle on her body says “I got through”. The crow’s feet by her eyes say, “I got this far”.

Every crease around her mouth shows her lifetime of joy. Her skin may not be tight, but her heart is firm.

She may not be able to hear a pin drop, but her eyes can read your face like the story books she reads.

Her hands are course and she has many spots, but she has never been younger.

She has never known God more.

She is what you call old. She is what you call gray. She is who you’d call slow and weak.

If you saw her you might not think beauty queen. You might judge her as cantankerous and mean.

You may call her wrinkled, floppy, and so close to dead.

But not I. She is a magnificent jewel, a princess of God. Her gray hair is like a crown upon her head.

She might not outrun you with her legs, but can flip to Ezekiel faster than you would’ve ever said.

Her arms and body may be weak, but her loving heart is strong.

She may be harsh sometimes, but always caring and few times wrong.

She is firm in her faith, shining in her face, and more alive than ever.

Each day she is closer to Jesus. She is my grandma and we will always be together.

Relationships

Sometimes I just feel left.
I was.
Sometimes I feel totally misunderstood.
Sometimes I am.
Sometimes I feel hurt.
I was.
Sometimes I wonder why I feel so much.
Because I do.
But I have come to realize I am more than human.
I am His.
You’re more than human.
Yet, I almost know, we will one day hurt each other.
And then heal.
Together or not.
If I gave you a shard of my heart, what would you do with it?

Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sonnet

In my squeaky voice I tell you, your mine.
There are no rivals in our crazy friends.
Our tails forever shall be intertwined.
My love towards you forever ascends.
I esteem how your gloves are always white.
I love how you listen with your big ears.
You’re a dazzling light in my cartoon night.
The comic in you wipes away my fears.
You pop out in 2-d animation.
You make my heart beat right out of my chest.
You equal my love equation.
Oh, my Minnie you’re above all the best.
Oh boy! It is you and I forever!
Through Disney we’ll always be together!

Game Show Love

You and I went on a game show that kind of went like this,

I would give the people answers and you would have to guess.

You’ve never really known me because you’ve never really tried.

The loneliest I’ve felt were the times I spent by your side.

They started asking questions and I was in a state of shock.

Apparently, you’d listened every time I talked.

They asked what foods I hated and you answered without a doubt.

You had heard me when I screamed that I’d never swallow brussel sprouts.

How come you never answered or treated me like I was there?

How could you act so far away when you were always so aware??

I thought I only had God and he was more than enough.

I love him so much, but as a human it’s tough.

We lost by one question because I had to guess.

They asked me if you loved me and thought I was the best!

The only thing we had to do was answer the same.

But we ended up losing in ways I can’t even explain.

I racked my brain for answers and now I was so confused.

So I answered from my past said “no” and it was now your turn to choose.

Do you love me and think that I am the best?

But without any hesitation, you had to answer yes.