Beauty from the Beast (Part 3)

You saw me there, lying on the bathroom floor.

You saw me there wishing for life no more.
When all I thought I wanted was their death,
I really wanted their love.

They neither died nor loved me.

You picked me up gently in your comforting arms.
You acted like a plant, taking my carbon dioxide to give me life sustaining oxygen.
You held my heart and inhaled my anger.
You exhaled your grace,
just breathing on me.

You took away my vengeance
and gave me hope.

You loved me.

You gave me the antidote for the poison that no doctor could cure.
One touch of your robe and my disease was healed.
I was healed.

I surrendered my heart,
but only by You.

You now hold it,
you hold both them and me.

I have nothing to hate,
nothing to have bitterness,
and only wish to live.

Shine Your beauty through my beast.

The Reality of the Monster (Part 2)

Weeds grew in my garden,
chains around my scales.
The rope around my neck got tighter as I yelled.

The hate as black as the night
filled ever vein in my being,
just as poison does.

Bitterness made me ugly.
The boils on my skin,
sprouting from the disease within.

Then I gave up.
I was so angry at you,
hated you so much.

I laughed when you were down.
When they were killing you,
torturing you,
I smiled.

But you never knew.

That you poured the poison in my glass
and freely gave me your disease.

But I am hurting instead of you.
So I died. Or thought I had.

Introducing the Monster (Part 1)

I was full of wishes.
I was also full of hate...
Have you ever met a monster?

Have you ever met me?

Bitterness is poison.
Hate is disease.

Together they kill you or turn you into a beast.

I grew scales and had a tongue three feet long.
It was very talented.
I could throw knives and strangle people with it.

Horns sprouted from my head and claws from my fingers.
I didn't need any of this,
I could have sliced you with my glare.

But, honestly,
through my metamorphosis,
I died.

Sampson

Some days I see myself as Sampson.
I am so strong!!
Then I whisper my secrets and my hair is cut.
My strength flows out the tips of my fingers and is gone.
Sometimes my hair takes a few days to grow back, sometimes weeks, sometimes months.
Strength never lasts forever.
But neither does weakness.

Love song to my King

To worship you is to be in love.
To talk with you is to hold a star.
To hear you whisper softly is to dance forever.

In your soft embrace I am calm.
I feel your kisses through the rain.
When my eyes meet yours the blood races up my cheeks.

Unlike most times, I realize my worth in you, and I don't look away.
 I see my reflection in your eyes, you see your own in mine.
To be in your presence is to cradle hope.

As I let you change me,
I want you more and more each day. 
Our time seems so little.
But we shall last forever.

Your arms are always open, always protecting.
As I chatter on, like most women, you just smile and listen,
truly drinking me all in.

I need not talk so much, for you already know my heart.

Constantly, you find beauty in my dust and are enthralled by it.
But surely, I am nothing, especially next to you.

Oh how your heart loves mine.
 How my heart beats rhythmically for you.
Until I feel you closer, then it starts to race.

I am not nervous, or anxious, but always peaceful in your hands.
You are the last smile I see at night.
I hear you singing over me in the mornings.

Thank you for loving me.

You carried me through every dark passage.
Though my feet were scraped and bruised,
you washed them and held me to your chest.

I have never been alone,
because your hand I will always hold.
I never thought I would have a Love of my life,
but you have always been and will forever be mine.

Nothing can part us. Not status, space, or time.
Lead me in a waltz to the rhythm of life's many songs.
For you wrote them all.

How I love you.
I am forever yours.
Love of my life, you will always hold my soul.
King of my heart, you have made me whole.

God

Your arms wrap around me and I am in perfect peace.
When I part my lips let You be the Voice that speaks.
May Your light shine when they look in my eyes.
May it shine the truth on the hidden lies.
Each flower was hand painted by Your hand.
You designed every color.
What if the sky wasn't blue?
You open the curtains of space every day and close them for every night.
Who am I to describe You?
I can't know how amazing and majestic You are.
I try and I can't write it.
To say the mountains reflect your face,
they aren't enough.
To say that looking at a Christian human is to see Your image...
How?
I love you God.

Song to my Prince

I wait. Me knees patiently glued to the carpet.
I pray. My heart constantly calling your name.
I want to tell you I love you.
I want to be yours.
Like Jacob, work for me until I am yours.
Call out to me and I will drop everything and come running.
Through rain, through deserts, through blizzards.
Whatever I must endure as long as I end up in your arms.
I almost say my love for you is unrequited.
I detest that word.
But my love for you will be yours for me.
One day... as soon as you know.
Don't forget me.
Even if you have had many women, like Wise Solomon,
let me be the special One you love.
Be my bridegroom and my beloved.
There will be a Ceremony in Heaven for me.
I will be united someday if you never show,
To the Lover of my very soul.
Please, I ask not that you ride up on a noble steed.
Just that you don't forget me.
I don't ask for a knight in armour,
nor for a rescue.
Just that I could always be with you.
Loving, seeing, watching, all for you.
I love you.
I love you.
Oh, please, that you would dream of me and stay true.
For God alone knows,
I have fought for you and I.
He knows the love I have in the depths of my soul.
Pouring out like a fountain for you.
Ask Him for my key and unlock my heart.
For I gave it to God to hold and to keep.
If He sees you fit, you will set it free.
Oh, my Prince, please come for me.

The Prayer of Jabez (My 30 day prayer)

"And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying,
"Oh, that You would bless me indeed,
and enlarge my territory,
that Your hand would be with me,
and that You keep me from evil,
that I may not cause pain!"
So God granted him what he requested." (1 Chronicles 4:10)

Your reason to Celebrate!!!

Today is an incredibly special holiday. Only the best and brightest see its worth and celebrate! It is a day unlike any before! I just wanted to wish EVERYONE a VERY happy May 11th, 2011!!!!!

I have thought of love

I have thought of love.
A woman of the nuns as you may believe, I am not.
I have not sworn off men.
Some may say heartless being, but I feel mine still beating.

My love has been yours from the beginning.
The tremors in my fingers grow as I write.
What would you say if I told you his woman of courage was scared?
Terrified...

To know that you may not love me.
That I might by left as fool's gold.
My heart not just breaking in two,
for my whole heart will leave me,
belonging to you.

The fear of embrace and of trust in a man.
In my eyes you can see my little faith in no plan.
What if I can't do it?
I get there and fail you?

I have worked to become yours my entire breathing existence.
Did I work hard enough?
Will I be good enough for you?
Ha, to think I have yet to know exactly who you are.

As afraid as I am, I miss you excruciatingly.
Your smile that lights up the day,
your loving words that make the bad fly away with the wind.
Mostly, and often, I long for your eyes.

Those eyes full of wisdom and care.
That reassure and catch me when I fall.
The doors into your soul that completely care for mine.
Why am I scared?

God gave me you before the beginning of time.

I wonder...

I actually wonder about a lot of things, but today I wonder,
Did purple ever wish to be yellow?
Why do people sing other people's songs?
We don't memorize other people's words.

Can God's creation experience jealousy or selfconsieouness?
Do they just accept that God has a unique plan for all of them?
Does the rose and the weed perk up with joy when their fragrence brightens someone's day?
What would the floor say if they could talk about what they've heard?

Do you ever just wonder?
Imagining how things could or would or might be?
Always outside everybody else's box?
Never really fitting in anywhere?

Just wondered....

Sex slave Trafficking

They scream in the dark, but only for a while.
Their human flesh being devoured into zombie death.
Their hair matted and filled with the dust of men.
Their faces... what faces?

Scarred, dirty, broken.
Their bodies have been stolen.
What have they to offer the world now?
Who are they?

Her eyes used to fill with grief and terror.
Now she can't see.
Her hands used to claw and fight.
Now she is dead.

They stole her, every piece of her.
Like a train, everyone got on for a ride.
Pay for a ticket, getting nowhere.
Heartless, soulless, cruelty.

They showed them no mercy.
They felt no remorse.
Their eyes weren't blank like hers.
Black as the hate that filled every crevice of their hearts.

Beaten, spit on, stripped bare of body and soul.
Empty. Scared.
They feel so alone and hopeless.
If only they could find a way to escape, even through death, please see them!

How will they be saved?
Oh Jesus rescue your princesses and princes!!
Must Sodom and Gomorrah rule your world?!
Let not the oppressed perish!

Rescue too their captors, for how else will this world change?
Take the evil away oh God!
Must they weep in suffering?
Must the torture persist?!!

You give and take away.
You always have a plan.
Rescue and make hearts of gold,
from abused children and a very sinful man.

The One I love

You molded the mountains.
Yet your hands are soft enough to mold my heart.
You placed those mountains in my path,
yet you guide my heart over them.

You poured out all of your love on Calvery's tree.
Yet somehow my cup is always overflowing.
You died. You were buried in the earth.
Yet, somehow you lived.

I have felt so alone and left.
Yet you were always with me.
I couldn't go on, not even another step.
So you carried me.

You made something that shines brighter then glitter and placed it in the sky.
Yet you still find me more beautiful.
You made something as mighty as an ocean.
Yet you gave me the power to calm it.

You are my God.
My strength and courage.
You are the love of my life.
I am so in love...

None could care for me more.
No man could so protect my heart.
No man is so enthralled by my beauty as you.
Let me please you my King.

No one is mightier.
No king quite so majestic.
No warrior braver.
No creator more creative than mine.

For I am His beloved,
and He is mine.

Stalker, sickness, thief.... only in my head.

The follower in the night.
You come up from behind me and take me over.
Engulfing my entire body.
You infuse yourself into me.

Like a poison making me feel so sick.
I can't see a doctor for you.
No one must know.
You paralyze my entire being.

You steal what you said you would borrow.
You don't run and I don't send you away.
I am captive to my slave.
My eyes have become closed doors.

You haunt when you could just be.
You hurt when you don't leave.
When you leave you take me along and I get lost.
The only way for you to go is through my rain.

Until then, you have me.
This is no victory for you.
You are you and this isn't evil.
You cause misery and aren't anything miserable.
I am a drought, a desert.
Even though I could rain and bloom.

Oh, my saddness, please go.

Nothing much more then something

I have tried to write.
Why will nothing come?
When I have something to write,
it rides the elevator from my soul to my mind,
then flows down my arms through my fingers into my script.

If I have nothing to write, does this mean my soul is empty?
I'm hurting.
All of me?
If your soul is hurt what does that mean?
I don't understand.
I am worried about you...

And I don't know what to write.