I have thought of love

I have thought of love.
A woman of the nuns as you may believe, I am not.
I have not sworn off men.
Some may say heartless being, but I feel mine still beating.

My love has been yours from the beginning.
The tremors in my fingers grow as I write.
What would you say if I told you his woman of courage was scared?
Terrified...

To know that you may not love me.
That I might by left as fool's gold.
My heart not just breaking in two,
for my whole heart will leave me,
belonging to you.

The fear of embrace and of trust in a man.
In my eyes you can see my little faith in no plan.
What if I can't do it?
I get there and fail you?

I have worked to become yours my entire breathing existence.
Did I work hard enough?
Will I be good enough for you?
Ha, to think I have yet to know exactly who you are.

As afraid as I am, I miss you excruciatingly.
Your smile that lights up the day,
your loving words that make the bad fly away with the wind.
Mostly, and often, I long for your eyes.

Those eyes full of wisdom and care.
That reassure and catch me when I fall.
The doors into your soul that completely care for mine.
Why am I scared?

God gave me you before the beginning of time.